


Brotherly affection

by FakeCirilla9



Category: Lord John Series - Diana Gabaldon, Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Brothers, Canon Gay Character, Drinking & Talking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24749290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeCirilla9/pseuds/FakeCirilla9
Summary: Hal shares a secret that's not really a secret
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Brotherly affection

**Author's Note:**

> An additional scene set somewhere in Lord John Grey and the Scottish Prisoner

"Have you fucked him?" Asked Hal, as obnoxious as ever, posing the question in the same level voice he used to tell John about how he met his wife or announced him most trivial things like 'come dine with us on Tuesday', 'pass me that book, would you?'.

John lost his voice and the pipe he was holding. He reached to swipe the mess the spilled tobacco left on the desktop, keeping his eyes meticulously on it rather than his brother. For a moment he considered playing ignorant as to whom Hal was referring to but in the end he decided against it. His reaction betrayed John already and the duke was not _such_ a fool.

"I don't see how it's of an interest to you."

"It wouldn't be in normal circumstances. But as it is, it threatens our mission. He seems really... aggravated about it."

"He surely knows how to hold a grudge. Like a true Scot," John said with something between resentment and admiration.

He was aware that Hal was watching him intently so he raised his gaze to face his brother steadily. Hal was frowning and John couldn't decipher in the light if it was a frown of contempt or of puzzlement. 

"Something is amiss though," the duke mused half to himself. "You couldn't be that bad in bed."

John opened his mouth but then shut it again. 

Hal reached to his drawer for brandy, a universal medicament that aids thinking or brings solace by calming roused nerves. The duke filled two glasses. He drunk for the former reason, Grey for the latter, having forsaken the unsuccessful attempts of restoring his pipe to a serviceable state. John felt an irresistible desire to swing the heavy glass in the direction of Hal's wig on his stupid head but it wasn't worth a good drink. His brother would dodge in all probability.

They drunk in silence. Hal refilled their cups.

"But why would he said that then... Unless, he didn't mean you."

John felt a cold feeling creeping on the back of his neck like a drought in Ardsmuir prison.

"What did he say?" He asked, not liking where this was venturing.

Hal gave him a look like he was daft.

"That Englishman fucked him. Or, allow me in that dreadful accent of the Highlanders and equally vulgar directness: I've been fucked by a'Englishman up ma arse before.'"

John felt as though the armchair swings precariously and then wholesomely slips from under him. A strong arm seized him before the floor crashed with him.

"John! Are you all right? What's wrong?"

The smell of brandy was under his nose, strong and stinging but not so much as his heart stung at the moment. The scent roused him a bit. John realized that he sat right on the floor, propped against the desk to which Hal was pressing him. The whole bottle of brandy was right in his face. He grabbed it and took a gulp straight from the bottleneck, disregarding the etiquette and whatever sense of property Hal may harbour.

His brother, for once, stayed gratefully silent. It was kind of pathetic to share that with him of all people but it was digging at the inside of John's chest to get out.

"No wonder he hates me." He said in a strangled voice.

He swallowed more brandy and Hal did not object, no to him drinking like a drunkard in Cheapside street, nor to the compromising stream of words.

"All that I said to him... And I wasn't circumvent about it at times... Oh, God. How could he ever forgive me? It must have bring all the memories to him if someone- had hurt him before. And an Englishman! _I_ must have bring all the hideous memories to him. There are not that much Englishmen in Scotland. It must have been during some skirmishes or-" his voice caught.  
  
"-in prison." Finished Hal flatly.

Grey let out an undignified sob.

Hal urged him to raise the bottle.

"There, drink some more and it'll be better. You'll see."

"Are you... talking from experience?" John asked in a still unstable voice.

"It helps to silent unpleasant thoughts. And they're better drown in the bottle than in Thames along with their owner."

John glanced at his older brother and saw the shadow that was there whenever he thought of the Twelvetrees affair.

John passed him the bottle silently.

They shared the drink like that, on the floor of the room quiet besides the fire crackling in the hearth. The warmth of the close flames and the cordial heating him from the inside made the anguish gave place to fatigue eventually. John's head dropped down, stopping on Hal's shoulder.

"Better?" Hal asked.

"Not quite. But it's more distant."

"It is not so bad, you know. Your case, I mean."

Even the familiar rush of anger at his brother's... self was having a difficult time to get to the surface over the fumes of alcohol. Raising a fist seemed like a tremendous effort so John stayed like he was.

"Prey tell me how could it be worse."

"You could have fucked him." Said Hal with an undeniable logic of a drunk lord.

"I could," if John's voice was a bit wistful, he hoped Hal didn't catch it.

"Then he will never forgive you certainly," once more, his brother presented his inherent ability to ruin John's mood.

"Hal, I made him an offer. I mean, not the surreptitious hand gestures, fingers' brushes – though they were plenty too – but an actual proposal. I was... quite explicit when we argued that day. And the fact that it was half shouted in anger makes it so much worse. No wonder he tried to kill me."

"He what? And you let him live peacefully in the countryside instead of revoking his parole?"

"I provoked him to it." John shrugged. "It wouldn't be fair to punish him for that." 

"You're too soft on them."

"Because it's better to shot them in a duel?"

Hal shrugged him off his shoulder. John saw the expression on his face in the red glaze from the fireplace and relented.

"I'm sorry. That was out of line."

"Indeed."

Hal rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What I meant... It's better that there are merely words between you two. Your Scot is a though man, those cannot hurt him."

John's lips curled in an unpleasant smile.

"He can be a touchy son of a bitch. You wouldn't believe."

"I think I witnessed some of that already. Still, if angry words separate you, the kind ones should be able to mend the breach."

John glared at him.

"And how do you imagine it?"

Hal glared back.

"That you two should hold a conversation?"

"And during it, should I reveal that I know what happened to him and from whom I've learned that?"

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed." 

Hal thought for a moment. 

"Well, it's not like he told me that in secret. It's either you telling him straight on – and hopefully clear things between you or pretend not to know during the entire trip to Ireland. The choice is yours."

"Blimey. Either offending him more than any time before or betraying him."

"I believe you are overdramatic."

"Shut up. I'm not. I regret that you told me."

"Now you're certainly overdramatic. Just talk to him."

"Absolutely not."

"You're impossible."

"Must be our family feature."

Hal snorted.

"Do you have any more of this?" John indicated the bottle they emptied. He asked partly from true desire to get drunk to the point of unconsciousness and partly from the need to shut Hal up should he decided to press his ideas about John's relationship with Jamie.

"No." Hal sounded regretful. "But I've got this."

He produced some weed and retrieved John's abandoned pipe to refill it.

"What's this?" 

"Something to cheer you up. Have a trust in someone more experienced," Hal added when John looked doubtful.

"Experienced in how to best get intoxicated," muttered John.

"I will blame the tone on you being heartbroken and forgive it."

John debated whether to argue he's not heartbroken or mock the false generosity but finally he simply reached for the offered pipe.

**Author's Note:**

> There is no other excuse for this story sans the fact that I just love their relationship (and Hal himself is awesome fight me). I hope I did them justice...


End file.
